If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My vagina just recognized that song.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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