hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
