but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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