Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
