i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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