Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize