just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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