Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
