proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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