the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
