She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize