Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
