i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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