so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
