He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
