it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
