then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
