Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
