Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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