How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
