Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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