I skipped work to stalk him.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
