I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
