their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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