you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
