Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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