So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
