'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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