And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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