Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
