I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
