some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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