u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
