Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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