it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
