So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No subtext here. People are naked.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
