all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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