My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
