She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
