So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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