you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
