I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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