you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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