my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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