New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
