wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
