Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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