Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
