so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize