Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize