I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
