it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
