escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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