so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
