who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
