guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize