I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
