You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
