People in love make me want to vomit
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
