hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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