I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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