none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
