girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
